Tuesday, December 9, 2008

our pacquiao vs. dela hoya match.

No, this is not about them of course.

It's about Don and I having a boxing match today.

Since verifying the rumors yesterday that there will be no classes today, I was asking him if we could go to Cabanatuan and enjoy the rest of the day together, but he would not agree until this morning. I asked him why and he said that they will be having their basketball practice the whole day.

Oh yes, that fu*cking orange ball again.

I am not against him playing basketball of course, we already had an agreement that we are free to do ALL the things that we want to, for him it's basketball, for me, it's writing- seems unfair? yes.

I don't know why I agreed on that the least that I could remember is that when we made that agreement I was set to leave for Baguio for a seminar-workshop on Journalism. Argh. Now I realized, the Filipino saying that "nasa huli ang pagsisisi" is indeed true.

I am on a bad mood since yesterday because of cough and cold that I caught from late-night baratilyo shopping with Sir Francis, Kuya Jonnie, Kuya Fred, Alenna and him.

He sent me a message at 9 AM today that serves as my Good Morning greeting and I sent back a message sarcastically saying that "I thought you have a whole day practice today?" And there it was, the match began.

We argued about basketball for the nth time of our lives and I was like Dela Hoya during the Dream Match when he stood up and congratulated Pacquiao at the opening of the 9th round.

I gave up.

I cannot win over the f*cking basketball- and he warned me about it ages ago.

But he promised me that "basketball" will only be for the first semester since the University Intramurals takes place during the first sem. He also promised that he'll make-up for the times that he cannot have dinner with me because of their practice. I don't want to sound a bitter-possessive girlfriend here but he's just not fair and I hate him for that.

My phone rang at 11 30 AM as I was walking from the boarding house to the main gate, he said sorry and I said I understand ( I just don't want to talk to you) and I pressed the red key on my phone.

No, I never said the words enclosed in the parentheses but I am not sending him a message or calling him until now.

My realizations:
It's funny when people around us think that we do not have fights but the truth is, for the three years that we have been together, we fought a million times over pretty little things, and this one is no exception.

But then again, our fights serve as a therapy for us. It's the time for us to have bonding moments with ourselves, reflect about how we are behaving for the past days, and finally realize that we are still two different individuals bounded by the love that we have for each other.

He is my best-friend and my worst enemy, my number one fan and my greatest critic, and I would'nt want to be with any other guy for that matter.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

of leadership and friendship

If there's one thing that I love about myself is that I value my friends so much that they are my favorite topic when posting something here in my blog. My friends are indescribable-they are simply amazing, and I guess that's what makes me proud of them.


At the start of the school year, Kuya Jonnie (my buddy last Lit-Mus competition; he competed in Pagsulat ng Sanaysay and I in Essay Writing) asked me if I am interested to run for office. I was hesitant to accept the offer because I am trying to catch up with my studies, but then again it's something that I cannot really resist. I mean, this is exactly how I wanted my college life to be - being active in the school and perhaps, if given the chance, to be in the Student Council for once. So I said "yes" without really thinking what the possibilities are-and then, our party were unopposed and I am now the Secretary of the student council.
Things happened very fast and I barely noticed that I am enjoying this whole new bunch of people around me. I realized that first impressions don't really last, little by little, we found ourselves in constant arguments with what we should do but then again, we also gained respect and acceptance from each other. My co-officers that I thought were snobbish and perfectionist are really just simple persons trying to make a difference too, in just different manners though.
Five months of being with these different personas made me appreciate the uniqueness of everyone around me. Five long months of arguing, fighting, laughing and being with each other has taught me to have fun, seize every day of our life to try to make a difference and take a break from the busy life of academics and step into a world of something more than yourself and school.

College Friends (Educators in the making eh?)

If I would count my college friends now, I could actually count them with one hand. Perhaps you would ask why? I also don't know.
I have three college buddies who accepts me as I am and are not afraid of telling me my fallacies, my weaknesses and my short comings. I actually admire them for being brave, brave enough to tell me how bad they felt about what I've said and done, how unfair I was in checking the attendance for this activity and how bad I look with my hair or how thick my make-up is.
They are the truest persons I met in college. I can tell them anything and they are ready to listen. I can vent out my frustrations with my studies and our classmates and they are always ready to give a piece of advice. They are my instant cheerleaders in the contests that I join, and yet they are also my reality-checker-they make sure I keep my feet rooted flatly on the ground and my head not weighing too much air. They consistently teach me Math and Music lessons and makes me realize that I am STILL a student. They constantly remind me that I can always have them in times of defeat or in case I need a good laugh and that they are always ready for food trips that come unplanned.

HS Tropa

My barkada since first year high school. I really miss them. :(
my BSP-R0vers family with Sir Isma during the last Overnight Camping at Sci-Hi.

Reunion Buddies. Always present during planned/unplanned reunions. :)
Well. What can I say? I think this is the nth time that I would talk about these people. Well, they are the BEST! High school is the best part of school life indeed. :)

New Buddies. :)

It was through Sir Francis that I met these wonderful people. These people are very influential, not only because they are great leaders, but also they are people of patriotism and change. I consider them as leaders who should lead this country in the next few years. I thought these are actually serious persons who are busy with their advocacies but when I was given the chance to be with them, I realized that they are not that serious- they crack jokes, dance with us, sing Skyline Pigeon while riding on a bus going to Pasay and ask questions too. They are infallible- just like all of us.Go Team Nueva Ecija! :)

at UST- Arc of the Century

Ate Ren of WYA visits CLSU. (wow :))

nakakalito, nakakatiwang,ayoko na yata.

... pramis.


Sunday, November 30, 2008

Nueva Viscaya

Napadpad kami sa kapit-bahay na probinsiya ng Nueva Ecija, ang Nueva Viscaya. First-time ko makapunta doon. Akala ko parang kamukha lang din ng Nueva Ecija at Bulacan ganun. Pero nung nakasakay kami sa bus habang papalayo sa CLSU, unti-unting sumisilip ang mga bundok at unti-unti din kaming nahuhulog sa upuan ng bus dahil OA sa pagkazig-zag yung daan sa Carranglan at Sta. Fe. Super kapit ang kailangan kasi "S" shaped ang daan tapos paakyat pa. Grabe. Masakit sa katawan in fairness, kaya pala apat na oras ang biyahe eh.
Tapos biglang malamig yung hangin kasi ng paakyat na ng bundok, parang Baguio pala siya, malayo sa Nueva Ecija.

NVSU. (Nueva Viscaya State Univerity)
Kaya pala kami nagpunta sa Nueva Viscaya eh para um-attend sa CVSLA (Cagayan Valley Student Leaders Assembly) , hindi ko ba alam hanggang ngayon kung bakit invited kami eh hindi naman kami kasama sa Cagayan Valley Region. Pero ayos lang, cool ang experience. Challenging tumakas sa boring na speakers at session kasi isang kilometro ang layo ng venue sa dormitory na tinutulugan namin, at hindi lang yun- may isa pang challenge dahil nasa itaas ng bundok ang dorm. Kaya kinakailangan ng koster (coaster pala) para makapunta kami doon. At malayo din yung kainan sa seminar venue, parang may kasalan tuloy sa Padilla Hall ng NVSU. Namuhay din ako ng tatlong araw ng walang Jollibee, kanda-haba ang leeg ko tuwing may bayan na madadaanan para makakain ng Jollibee pero wala talaga. In-enjoy ko na lang yung mga bundok at christmas lights ng ilang videoke bar.

Sabi ko nga, masaya ang experience. Kabilang ako sa "minority group" na pinangungunahan ni Emperatriz Darrina at Mahal na Pangulong Freda. Faction ng CLSU, AU, SJCC at CGC. Mamatay ka kakaisip ng ibig sabihin ng mga letseng acronyms na yan, tinatamad ako mag-type at tsaka wala naman akong talent fee na matatanggap sa pagpa-plug ng mga school na 'yan. Pero friends ko lahat ng mga kasama ko dyan- promise. Kami-kami lang nagkakaintindihan sa seminar. Bakit? kasi una, camwhores kami; pangalawa, matatakaw kami (kaya nasasabihan na galing daw kami sa PGU (Patay Gutom University)- wala kaming time para patulan yung mga taong nagsabi nyan-bahala sila sa buhay nila basta kami nagbayad ng P650.00 sa pagtira namin sa Nueva Viscaya.Wag lang silang tutungtong sa ECIJA at ipapatira ko sila sa mga friends ko mga bundok ng Carranglan, Lupao at San Jose.); pangatlo, pare-pareho kaming madaldal at mahilig kumanta lalo na ng Skyline Pigeon at Can You Feel the Love Tonight (syettt).

Nagmamaganda sa harap ng DFTC (tirahan namin sa bundok)

Saturday, November 15, 2008


nagawa ko!

nagtagumpay ako!

hindi talaga ako natulog.

maliligo na ako ngayon. :)


sa lahat ng pupunta sa World Youth Alliance-Asia Pacific Convention, kita-kita na lang tayo.

Ingat sa pagbiyahe. May God Bless Us. Amen. :)

Friday, November 14, 2008

tipa. tipa. tipa.

wala na talaga 'tong tulugan.

baka hindi ako magising mamayang 4AM at maiwanan ng bus.

3rd anniversary pala namin ng Mahal ko, hindi kami nag-date syempre. :)

floating student.

Kung may floating teacher sa mga public schools, masasabi kong meron din floating student- ako yun.

Minsan nagtataka nga ako kung normal ba ako o hindi, kasi kahit na napapaligiran ako ng mga nerd kong classmate, hindi pa rin nila ako naaakit na mag-review ng lessons isang gabi bago ang quiz at exam, sa halip na 30 minutes bago mag-exam magbasa ng mga notes, mag-memorize ng formulas at gumawa ng mnemonics sa hangin.

Hindi naman ako nerd, hindi din ako yung pinaka hindi matalino sa klase, kumbaga, wala lang, playing safe ng lola mo. Nagre-recite sa klase pag nabunot yung class card, nakita yung pangalan sa seat plan at tinapik ng teacher. Minsan nakaka-tsambang mag-highest sa exam at quizzes dahil naka-10 points sa 20 points essay. Kaya siguro floating ako, walang "label" na maipapakat sa akin.

Kasi madalas bully din ako, lalo na kapag hindi ko malilimutan ang isang bagay gaya na lang nang "Snow Beer" eka nga ng kaklase ko, kaysa sa "Snow Bear"-isang brand ng kendi na pag hinalo mo daw sa Mountain Dew kung sosi ka at Sparkle kung medyo nagtitipid ka eh parang tumira ka din daw ng Red Horse pag tinamaan ka. Kung totoo 'yun, hindi ko alam. Mas effective daw kung durog na durog yung Snow Beer. Balik sa kwento, ayun, araw-araw yata sinasabi namin yung word na Snow Beer, buti na lang hindi pikon yung kaklase ko at kaibigan ko din, hindi gaya ko.

Mahilig din akong sumali sa sa mga school activities, kahit saan ako ayain, go lang ng go, exempted dyan ang sayawan, kantahan at poster-making contest. Wala akong specialty, siguro mahilig lang talaga akong sumubok sa kung anu-ano na wala naman talaga koneksyon sa buhay ko at sa isa't-isa.

At higit sa lahat, kaya ako floating student kasi nga--- hindi ako ga-graduate sa oras. :)

Sabi nga ni Kuya Jonnie, hindi pa ako handang pumirma ng kontrata ng graduation sa isang taon.

Tama naman siya. Hmmmm.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

10 hours left.

Sampung oras na lang tapos na naman ang pagliliwaliw ko sa internet at sa pakikipag-utuan sa mga pamangkin ko.

Siguro, sa tingin mo exaggerated kung sasabihin ko na mahirap maging teacher. Pero totoo 'yun. Isa sa pinaka-mahirap na kurso ngayon ang pagtuturo, lalo na kung sa state university ka nag-aaral kung saan madaling makapasok pero halos gumapang ka na, makalabas lang sa tamang oras. At lalo na kung mahina ka sa Math gaya ko (yun eh kung pinapangarap mong maituro lahat ng subject sa mga estudyante mo at may matutunan sila sa iyo, lalo na sa elementary-gaya ko.)

Pero sasabihin ko sa'yo, hindi talaga madali.

Walang chance maghabol ng back subject tuwing summer kasi required mag-summer ng dalawang taon (2nd year at 3rd year), full load pa. Tsk Tsk.

Masasabi ko na siguro ito na ang pinakamasayang parte ng pagiging Eduk schudent sa CLSU- ang sembreak. Kahit kulang isang linggo lang na walang pasok, ayos lang, at least kahit papaano nakahinga kami ng maluwag-luwag, nakatulog ng higit sa limang oras at nakakain ng tunay na edible na pagkain na luto ni Nanay.

Kahit drowing lang yung sembreak namin, ayos pa din. Madami akong natutunan sa pagpasok kahit opisyal nang dineklara na sembreak na. Eto yung ilan:

  • Dahil may mga pasaway na teacher na sem-break nagbibigay ng final exams, nangangahulugan din na kailangan bukas ang opisina ng CEd-Student Council para mamigay ng Final Exam Permit. Nangangahulugan din ng meryenda overload at Dacoco overload o Ipay overload kasi hindi na bukas ang mga canteen at si Kuya Minder! (yahoo. :))

  • Minsan, nakukuha sa tiyaga at charm ang mga teachers na desididong bigyan ka ng 4 o 5 para gawing mahiwagang 3 ang grade mo. Yun eh kung matiyaga ka talagang suyuin at dalawin ang teacher mo, at syempre kung likas na may kakaiba kang charm. Ayun eh.

  • Minsan din, kailangan mamili ng teacher na gagamitan mo ng charm, kasi may mga teacher na sing-dumi ng kanal at sim-baho ng mga kambing, kalabaw at kabayo ang ugali. Kadalasan nilang linya:"Wag mong sasabihin na kinausap/tinext kita ha. Pag nagpunta ka, ikaw lang mag-isa dapat." Gets mo?

  • Masarap makipag-bonding sa mga dati mong teachers o sa mga magiging teacher mo next sem tuwing sembreak, lalo na kung lagi kang nasa college kasi andun din sila kahit sembreak na.

  • Minsan din, sinusubukan ka ng teacher kung hanggang saan ang kaya mong gawin para ipasa ang subject lalo na kung talagang alanganin ka. Isa lang ang masasabi ko dito: matuto kang kumilatis kung sino talaga ang concerned sa'yo at kung sino ang nakikipag-gaguhan lang sa'yo, maniwala ka, mai-ca-categorize mo talaga sila sa ganyang klase. Promise.

  • Hindi madaling magbigay-serbisyo sa mga kapwa estudyante lalo na kung nire-raygun ka nila ng masasakit na salita sa mga bagay na nakikita nilang hindi maganda sa'yo. Pero ayos lang, kasi kahit papaano, naimumulat mo sila sa realidad na tao ka lang din, gaya nila, may karapatan magkamal, pumupurol ang utak dahil sa gutom at sumasablay paminsan-minsan.

  • Malalaman mo kung sino ang totoo at ka-sanggang-dikit mo sa mga taong nakikipag-plastikan lang sa'yo pag nagpakitaan kayo ng grades. Peksman-cross my heart, padlock-susi.

  • At higit sa lahat, walang thrill ang buhay college kung wala kang pinoproblema sa eskwelahan. Naniniwala ako na kung lahat ng bagay ay nakukuha kaagad ng walang kahirap-hirap at walang ka-challenge-challenge, BORING ang buhay mo kung ganun! :)

Saturday, November 1, 2008

pagbubutingting atbp.

Akala mo ba mag-net lang magdamag ang alam ko?.

Puwes, nagkakamali ka. :)

Kasi, lingid sa kaalaman mo na nagtitiyagang bumasa ng blog ko ay may isa pa akong hobby bukod sa pagiging isang masigasig na estudyante at sa pagiging trying hard na photographer na naeengganyo sa scholarship ng Konrad Adenauer Asian Center for Journalism sa Ateneo De Manila kaya araw-araw lowbatt ang digicam namin at naghuhurementado ang nanay ko kasi hindi ko daw china-charge yung mga baterya pag na-low-batt.

Balik tayo sa kwento ko.

Yung isang hobby kong tinutukoy ay ang paggawa ng mga hikaw.

Ewan ko ba.

Beads fetish siguro akong maituturing dahil tuwing nakakakita ako ng beads gusto ko itong butingtingin para makagawa ng isang bagay na pwede ko ipagmayabang sa iba. joke lang. Basta, mahilig ako sa makukulay na beads, perlas (peke syempre) at kung ano-ano pa. Pagkatapos magkaroon ng porma at itsura yung mga beads na pinagsama-sama, may kakaibang feeling of satisfaction kasi, alam mo yun, yung napapangiti ka bigla habang tinitingnan yung nagawa mo na para bang yun na ang pinakamagandang bagay sa buong mundo, nagmumukha ka tuloy baby-inosente.

Teka, ano nga pala Filipino ng "beads"?

Nagtutunog conyo ako nito eh. Yuck. :)

**Mga Larawan:
♦Yung nasa itaas, online shop ko kuno. basta dyan nakalagay yung mga nagawa kong hikaw. haha. kung interesado ka sa mga kalokohan ko, punta ka na lang sa http://beadstar14.multiply.com
♦ Yung nasa baba, sampol ng gawa ko, oh ano, pwede na ba? :)

Thursday, October 30, 2008

forever-the ambassadors

Forever Lyrics - The Ambassadors

I may burn out like a candle
And I may pass away
I may fall just like a shooting star
My heart will stay
I’ll be yours until forever
Forever I’ll be true
To the promise I have made
From the day that I found you

Forever you’re in my heart
Even if we’re apart
I say forever I’ll be yours
Forever I love you
I say forever I’ll be yours
Forever I love you
My love will never fade away
Even if I die
And I will love you
Until the end of time
Even without your smile
So hear me please
I beg you

Dont walk away I need you
To stay with me and be
By my side
Hold my hand
And we’ll work it out

Forever I’ll be yours
Forever I love you
I say forever I’ll be yours
Forever I’ll be true
My love will never fade away
Even if I die
And I will love you until
The end of time
Even without your smile
So hear me please
I beg you to stay


The song was accidentally sent to Don's cellphone via Bluetooth. When he asked me to listen to the song, I was actually reluctant to do so, knowing that almost all the songs in his cellphone are actually old songs from the Beatles and Michael Learns to Rock. Of course, their songs are great, it's just that everytime I listen to songs like that, it gives me a strange feeling of wanting to go back in the early 90's. hehe.

When I finally agreed to listen to the song, I was surprised when I heard the lyrics and fell in love with the whole song. It was something that means so much when you are in love with someone and you want to spend your "forever" with that person. And I think even if someone's not in-love with someone special, it'll make them feel inspired.

Hehe. Naruto ang music video. :)

Wednesday, October 29, 2008


"Your 1st Name Tells a lot Bout Who You Are :)"

J: People Adore you
E: You Are a Great Kisser
S: You are Freaking CRAZY!
S: You are Freaking CRAZY!
A: Best Gf/Bf any one could have
M: Handsome/Beautiful
Y: Sexiest bitch alive
N: Easy to fall in love with


A: Best Gf/Bf any one could have
B: You love a certain someone
C: People cant help but check u out
D: You are really lovable
E: You Are Great Kisser
F: Easy to fall in love with
G: You never let people tell you what to do
H: You have a very good personality and good looks
I: People love you
J: People Adore you
K: You're wild and crazy
M: Handsome/Beautiful
N: Easy to fall in love with
O: Best kisser ever
P: You are popular with all types of people
Q: You are a hypocrite
R: You love to kiss
S: You are Freaking CRAZY!
T: You are loyal to the ones you love
U: You really like to chill
V :your not judgmental
W: You are popular
X: You never let people tell you
Y: Sexiest bitch alive
Z: Never good enough...


♪ I don't believe it! :)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

on staying out of my comfort zone

People often say that staying in one's comfort zone does not define our limits, it does not allow us to go beyond what we are and what we want ourselves to be, to extend our reach and spread our wings, so we can touch the horizons and the limits of our consciousness.

I agree though, if we never experience pain, then we would never fully appreciate joy. If we never failed, then we can never experience learning from our mistakes and doing things the way it should be done.

I never realized this until today.

I never intended to be a teacher, as a matter of fact, my aunts and uncles even discouraged me from taking an Education course.

But maybe it was my fate to become one.

I guess I was bounded to become one by the notion that this maybe the least that I can do for the system where I have seen things that should be changed, eradicated and transformed.

I could have been an English major. I could have get rid of Mathematics, I could have studied what I really wanted to-literature, writing, communication arts and the likes. But I opted to stay out of the subject I am most comfortable with, the subject where I feel completely confident and capable of passing. To cut it short, my all time favorite subject.

I remembered my "genius" High School Physics teacher who once told us that we have to love Physics, so that when we see numbers and angles in test papers, we wouldn't feel awkward and resented.

He then told us that during his high school days, he was barely passing his quizzes and exams at his Physics subjects, so when he got into college, he decided to take a course that is related to Physics so that he can fully understand the subject. And he did just well, he graduated Magna Cum Laude.

This afternoon, I was already having thoughts of shifting from my course to a BSED-English course because of my Warning Status- I was disappointed because of my negligence and oh..laziness.

But then again, I remembered my Physics teacher and adviser during High School. I remembered how he conquered his fears and overcome his weaknesses.
Then I thought, maybe I could also be like him.

I am disappointed and so my mom, but maybe, continuing my course and staying out of my comfort zone will make me a better person and will give me that feeling that somehow, I achieved something that I have worked hard for and something that I never thought I could do.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

i ♥ second hand serenade

Hanggang gayon, hindi ko alam kung bakit gustong-gusto ko mga kanta ng taong 'to. :) Okay, siguro may pagka-emo ako kasi medyo emo-rock yung genre ng songs niya, bukod doon, makabagbag- damdamin talaga ang lyrics ng mga komposisyon. Basta, adik ako sa Second Hand Serenade ngayon. :) Rock en roll,mga pareng EMO! Kakapalan ko na eyeliner ko sa susunod. joke.
Eto ang ilan sa magagandang kanta niya (para sa akin, ha? kanya-kanyang taste yan, wag ka na lang makialam, blog ko 'to eh. ^^v)

  1. Your Call
  2. Fall for You
  3. Half alive
  4. Stay Close, Don't Go
  5. Vulnerable
  6. It's Not Over

'yan lang muna. :)

feeling photographer.

practice lang. :)

so anong sense?

wala lang,
natuwa lang ako dahil nagawa ko 'yung tinuro sa'min sa Educator-finally,
kaya in-upoload ko kaagad. :)
pa-SLR naman dyan. hehe.

Friday, October 24, 2008



...dahil sawa na ako sa Friendster.


Sabi ko nga pumunta kami kahapon sa Manila para samahan yug kapatid ko mag-enroll, pero ang totoo nun, para talaga makapunta sa divisoria. Shopping, tipong ganun.
Maganda sa UST. Malinis, madaming puno at fountains, nag-invest yata talaga sila sa pagpapatayo ng fountains. Mamamangha ka din sa buildings na ilandaang taon nang nakatayo doon.

Pero hindi 'yun and kwento ko.

Tumayo kami sa isang kalye para mag-abang ng bus pauwing Nueva Ecija, nakita ko yung isang matandang mama na nasa gitna ng kalye, medyo mabilis ang takbo ng mga sasakyan nang bigla siyang pumunta sa gitna at inilahad ang kamay sa paparating na kotse at maya-maya'y sumenyas upang huminto ang kotse. Huminto ang kotse, lumapit ang lalake sa gawing pintuan ng kotse. Pero sumenyas ang nasa loob na tila pinaaalis siya, bahagyang dumistansiya ang matanda at binusinahan nang malakas ng sakay ng kotse sabay harurot paalis.

Sinundan ko kung saan pupunta ang matandang mama, nakita ko siyang bumalik sa center island at umupo, tila naghihintay ng susunod na maaari niyang hingan ng tulong.

Naging marahas yung matandang pulubi na ikunwento ko sa panghaharang niya sa motorista. Pero bakit nga kaya ganun na lang ang ikinilos niya? Siguro kasi matanda na siya. Siguro kasi tumanda na siya na hindi nakakaranas matulog sa disenteng tahanan. Siguro kasi wala pang laman ang kumakalam niyang tiyan, sa kabila ng pag-aabang niya sa mga estudyante sa pamantasang iyon na limusan siya.

Siguro pinarahas na siya ng panahon at buhay na kinagisnan niya. Siguro.

Ilang minuto pagkatapos nito, mula sa kalayuan ay natanaw ko ang isang lalaking nagtutulak ng kariton, habang lumalapit sila sa kinatatayua namin, nakita ko ang isang babae sa loob ng kariton, siguro'y asawa niya. Huminto sila bago pa man makarating sa kinatatayuan namin. Tila naghahanap ang lalaki ng makakainan nilang mag-asawa. May humintong taxi at sumakay na kami. Kung ano ang nangyari sa mag-asawa at sa matandang lalaki, hindi ko na alam.

Dumaan kami sa isang mall. Madaming tao. Sigurado ako malaki kinikita nila kaya patuloy na lumolobo ang mga mall. Pumasok kami sa tindahan ng mamahaling tsinelas para bumili ang kapatid ko. Naisip ko, bakit itong mga taong 'to nagkakagulo dahil lang sa mamahaling tsinelas? Handa silang magbayad ng malaking halaga magkaroon lang ng ganun kamahal na tsinelas.

Aong kaugnayan ng mall? Hindi ko alam, pero bakit nga ba handa nating gawin ang lahat para mabili ang isang bagay na hindi naman natin talaga kailangan, pero kapag may humihingi ng tulong sa atin, konting barya lang, tila ipinagkakait pa natin?

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

hindi ko mapigilan

malapit na mag-hatinggabi at dapat nakahiga na ako dahil aalis kami bukas ng alas kuwatro ng umaga para pumunta sa Divisoria at magpa-holdap (wag naman). Pero hindi ko mapigilan na isulat (i-publish) ang blog na ito dahil baka mawala na sa isip ko 'to bukas.

10 am. Nagising ako sa init. Maya-maya, binuksan ng kapitbahay ang videoke dahil may party pala sa kanila(hindi kami invited!) at magdamag nagtitili at bumabanat ng "Touch by Touch", "My Love Will See You Through", "Wherever You Will Go (feeling rocker eh.)", at ang ultimate best-seller sa lahat ng videoke-han, ang walang kamatayang "One Moment in Time". Imagine, polluted ang kalye namin sa ingay ng mga batang parang pinakawalan sa kulungan, mga traysikel na tila pinapatag ang daan sa bilis magpatakbo at ingay ng makina at ang pinaka-nakakainis sa lahat, yung mga nagvi-videoke na kahit may sinusundan na lyrics eh wala pa din sa timing kumanta! anyameten.

5 pm. Uwian ng mga bata galing eskwela, syempre lahat ng friends ng celebrant doon dumeretso. Bida ang mga bata. Alas sais nang isa-isang sumirena ang mga nanay sa kalsada, kanya-kanyang tawag sa mga anak na hindi pa nagbibihis. Syempre, sunod sila ah-ikaw ba naman ulanan ng mura ni nanay.

5pm-10:30 pm. Inuman blues. Eto ang pinaka-nakakainis na part- gusto kong manood ng balita tungkol kay General Dela Paz at sa ka-epalan ni Gonzalez sa interview ni Jorge Carino kay Kumander Bravo pero umaalingawngaw sa buong bahayan ang bulol na hiyaw ng isang lasenggo sa kapitbahay. Anak ng teteng, Bandila na lang papanoorin ko.

Sinusubaybayan ko yug Three Dads With One Mommy sa 2 kaya gising pa ako nang mangyari ang isang pambihirang kaganapan, tumahimik na ang paligid at wala na ang nakaka-iritang tunog ng videoke na super bass support ang nakalagay.

Maya-maya, nagulat kami (mama,dadi,jelyn,nafnaf) kasi may nabasag na bote, at may isa pa at isa pa. Humupa ang pagkagulat at umiral ang pagiging tsismosa ko. Sumilip ako sa bintana at narinig ko ang mala-pelikulang batuhan ng linya ng mga kapitbahay namin:

Wife: Wag mo naman akong ganituhin ________ (name of our kapitbahay)

Kapitbahay: Wala akong pakeelam! (with matching bato ng bote one more time)

Kuya ng Kapitbahay: Hindi mo na ba ako ginagalang??! Respetuhin mo naman ako!

Kapitbahay: (nagbasag na naman ng bote, this time simultaneous naman kaya mas malakas)

Wife: Tumigil ka na nga, halika na!

Kuya: Tara na. Pumasok ka na! Pu&*(&%$#!


basag ng bote again.

may dalawang kapitbahay ang lumabas at naki-gulo, pero gaya ng role ng mga pulis sa pelikula-tapos na ang exciting na eksena nang dumating sila.

Masaya makinig sa mga away ng kapitbahay namin. Pramis. Minsan nung bata ako may naghabulan pa ng itak, muntik nang makarating sa amin pero buti na lang nagpaka-bayani yung isa naming kapitbahay at pumagitna sa away. Minsan din may mag-asawang nag-away dahil pinalo ni Husband yung bata, ayun, pinalayas siya ni Wife pero nagmakaawa si Husband kaya pinatawad din siya.

Sige, matutulog na ako. Happy Reading! :)

High School Reunions Make me Cry :)

High School Hang-Over.
I don't really know if I am normal or nuts. Two years after our High School graduation, I am still excited to see my classmates during semestral breaks. At the end of September or early October, text messages about possible mini-reunions floods my message inbox. Inasmuch as I want to go to every gimmick like malling, watching the latest movies or simply hanging out in one of our classmates' home and watch DVDs and YouTube videos, school work still matters even though I might miss the latest buzz on our classmates, or the rare bonding moment with the funniest and wackiest individuals in our class.

Shortly after our thesis defense, I decided to go to our high school after receiving a message from one of my friends, saying that I should not miss this one. And so I thought, this might be my last shot of "reunion blues". It was 3pm when I arrived at our former high school, at first, the guard won't let us in but when we say we'll just visit the Overnight Camping of the Boy Scouts, he finally agreed to let us in. Our high school was a lot different two years ago. A lot. Walls are now painted with colorful paints, the old city library and council office of the BSP are now being reconstructed, benches and other facilities are now present but high school memories are still vivid. I saw my friends sitting in one of the benches near the stage. It was an unforgettable moment seeing our old classmates from different schools. And it's nice to know that these people are still the same people I met six "first day of school" ago. These people are still the wackiest, loudest, and "kahit-ano-basta-pagkain" people I have been with for the most memorable four years of my school life.

High School is the best part of one's life, and I couldn't agree more.

High School served as my reality-checker. It has opened my eyes to the realities of life and made me do something about it. It was indeed the best because this is where l met people of my age, experiencing the same puberty-driven life of mine, understanding every bit of my frustrations, riding in my super frequent mood swings but still loves me and accepts me as I AM- no more, no less. Back-stabbing and crab mentality is not the fad in high school, because everyone has his own individuality, everyone is treated equally and everyone has the chance to shine at its brightest.

Two years after leaving the portals of our small high school, I am still friends with my good old barkada. I am still with the same faces, though different attitudes and aspirations in life. I still join bonding moments over coffee, glasses of beer, slices of pizza, really loud laughters with the unbeatable camera freaks and the noisiest bunch of people I have met.

Two to five years from now, most of us will be registered nurses or are in the medical field, some will be IT experts, accountants,teachers or engineers, but in the coming reunions, there will always be a bit of that little high-schooler in all of us- I hope so.

Saturday, August 2, 2008


emo ako ngayon. yun lang.

masaya ang palaro.

pero nakakairita yung tarp ni Bayani Fernando sa tapat ng pamantasan namin.]

"anong ginagawa niya sa Nueva Ecija??"

nakarating na ba sa amin ang MMDA??

baka mapuno ng pink na bakod ang CLSU nyan??!!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

"Sabi MO"

May nag-send sa e-mail ko nito mahigit isang taon na ang nakakaraan. Hanggang ngayon, binabasa ko pa din 'to ng paulit-ulit.
Hindi ko alam kung sino ang totoong gumawa nito, pero nais ko siyang bigyan papuri sa galing niya.

"Sabi Mo"

Sabi MO , ang gobyerno natin ay palpak.

Sabi MO , ang mga batas natin ay sinauna.

Sabi MO , ang lokal na pamahalaan natin ay hindi
maganda ang pagkolekta ng basura at ang paglilinis ng
mga lugar.

Sabi MO , hindi gumagana ang mga telepono, katatawanan
ang kalagayan ng trapiko, at hindi nakakarating sa
paroroonan ang mga sulat.

Sabi MO , parang nasadlak sa basura ang ating buong

Sabi Mo , sabi MO, sabi MO.

E ano'ng ginagawa mo tungkol dito?

Kumuha ka ng isang taong papunta sa Singapore .
Bigyan mo sya ng pangalan, yung sa IYO.
Bigyan MO sya ng mukha, yung sa IYO.
Lumabas KA sa airport nang
pinakamatino mong sarili na maipagmamalaki sa mundo..

Sa Singapore Hindi KA nagtatapon ng upos ng sigarilyo sa kalye.
Ipinagmamalaki MO ang magaganda nilang underpass.
Nagbabayad KA ng mga 60 pesos para makapagmaneho
sa Orchard Road (parang EDSA) mula alas 5 hanggang alas 8 ng gabi.

Bumalik KA sa parking lot para bayaran ang parking tiket mo
kung napasobra ka ng oras sa shopping o sa pagkain sa isang restaurant.

Sa Singapore , wala KAng sinasabi, meron ba?

Hindi MO susubukang kumain sa lantad kapag Ramadan sa Dubai .

Hindi MO susubukang lumabas ng bahay na walang takip ang mukha sa Jeddah.

Hindi MO susubukang lagyan ang isang empleyado ng kumpanya ng telepono sa London
para mapunta sa ibang tao ang mga long distance na tawag mo.

Hindi MO susubukang lumampas ng 90 kilometers per hour sa Washington,
at saka sasabihin sa pulis "Alam mo kung sino ako?"

Bakit di MO subukang dumura o magtapon ng upos ng
sigarilyo o balat ng kendi sa mga kalye sa Tokyo ?

Bakit hindi MO subukang bumili ng pekeng mga papeles
sa Boston tulad ng ginagawa sa Recto?

Pinag-uusapan pa rin natin IKAW.

IKAW na gumagalang at sumusunod sa patakarang banyaga sa ibang bansa
pero hindi makasunod sa sarili mong lugar.

IKAW na tapon ng tapon sa kalye pagtuntong mo pa lang sa lupa.

Kung IKAW ay nakikisalamuha at pumupuri ng sistema sa bansang banyaga,
bakit hindi KA maging ganyan sa Pilipinas?

Minsan sa isang panayam, ang dating Subic
Administrator na si Gordon ay may katwiran ng sinabi nyang:
"Ang mga aso ng mayayaman ay pinalalakad at
pinadudumi ng may-ari sa kalye, tapos sila mismo ang
pumupuna sa may katungkulan sa kapalpakan sa
paglilinis ng mga kalye. Ano ang gusto nilang gawin ng
mga may katungkulan? Magwalis tuwing makakaramdam ng
hindi maganda sa tiyan ang kanilang alaga?"

Sa America , bawat may-ari ng alaga ay dapat maglinis
matapos ang pagdumi ng aso. Ganuon din sa Japan .

Gagawin ba ng mga Pilipino yun dito? Tama sya.

Pumupunta tayo sa botohan para pumili ng gobyerno at pagkatapos nuon
ay tinatanggal na natin sa sarili ang responsibilidad.

Uupo tayo sa isang tabi at paghihintay ng pagkalinga at umaasa
na gagawin ng gobyerno ang lahat habang wala tayong iniaalay.

Umaasa tayo sa pamahalaan na maglinis, ngunit hindi
naman tayo titigil sa pagtatapon ng basura sa kung
saan-saan, at ni hindi tayo pupulot ng anumang piraso
ng papel para itapon sa basurahan.

Pagdating sa mga panlipunang talakayin tulad nang
hindi pagiging tapat sa kasal, sa mga dalagang ina, sa
pagtatalik ng walang basbas ng kasal, at iba pa,
maingay tayong nagpoprotesta ngunit patuloy naman
nating ginagawa ang mga ito.

Sa sandaling tayo ay mangulila kapag nasa labas tayo
ng bansa, naghahanap tayo ng aliw sa iba, kadalasan sa
kapwa rin natin Pilipino, na hindi natin iniisip ang
ating katungkulan na ating sinumpaan sa ating pamilya
nuong narito pa tayo.

Tapos sinisisi natin ang pamahalaan kapag nakikita
natin ang karahasan sa kabataan, pagkagumon sa bawal
na gamot, at iba pa, samantalang sinimulan natin
ito sa hindi pagpansin sa pangangailangan ng ating mga
anak ng tunay na pag-gabay at responsibilidad ng isang

Ang sabi natin, "Ang buong sistema ang kailangang
magbago. Ano ang magagawa kung ako lang ang
magpapabago sa aking pamilya?"

E sino ang magbabago ng sistema?

Ano ba ang mga sangkap ng sistema?
Napakaginhawa sa atin na ang sistema ay binubuo ng ating mga
kapitbahay, mga ibang tahanan, ibang syudad, ibang
komunidad, at ang pamahalaan.

Pero hindi kasama IKAW at AKO.
Pagdating sa ating pagkakaroon ng positibong
handog sa sistema, ikinakandado natin ang sarili, pati
na ang ating pamilya sa loob ng isang ligtas na pugad
at tumatanaw na lang tayo sa malayong mga lugar at
bansa at naghihintay ng isang Mr. Clean na dumating at
maghatid na mga himala.

O lumilikas tayo.

Parang mga tamad na duwag na hindi
pinatatahimik ng ating mga takot, tumatakbo tayo sa
Amerika upang makisalo sa kanilang luwalhati at
purihin sa kanilang sistema. Pero pag naging
masalimuot sa New York tatakbo tayo sa Japan o
Hongkong. Pag nagkahirapan ang paghanap ng trabaho sa
Hongkong, sakay agad tayo sa susunod na eroplano
patungong Gitnang Silangan. Pag may digmaan sa Gulf,
inaasahan nating masagip at mapauwi ng Gobyernong

Lahat ay handang umabuso at gumahasa sa bansa.
Walang nag-iisip na handugan ang sistema.
Ang konsyensya natin ay nakasanla sa pera.

Mga mahal kong kababayan,
ang sulating ito ay matinding nakakakislot ng isipan,
nangangailangan ng maraming pagmumuni-muni, at
tumutusok din sa konsyensya.
Medyo inuulit ko lang ayon sa ating salita ang mga salita
ni John F.Kennedy sa kanyang kabansa upang maitugma sa ating
mga Pilipino:

"Itanong natin kung ano ang magagawa natin sa ating
bansang Pilipinas at gawin ang nararapat upang ang
Pilipinas ay maging tulad ng Amerika at ibang
kanlurang bansa ngayon."

Gawin natin kung ano ang kailangan ng Pilipinas sa

Saturday, July 12, 2008

say what?!

I should have been happy.

I SHOULD have been.

But I am NOT.

I feel disappointed.
like a dumb as*hole.

I with two new staffers of The Educator, our college publication joined a "seminar" on "photojournalism". To some extent, I really learned something from the resource speakers from Ateneo.

Morning session started at 9.30 am and ended at 11.30 am.
And it was awful-really.
By this time, I realized that the three of us are actually victims of that "seminar".
We registered as "participants" and paid a whopping P 300/each for the "seminar kit, registration and food.
Came lunch time, we were surprised when we found out that we will eat JUST the SAME FOOD that facilitators, guests and observers will be eating? So what's the sense of that goddamn P300? A seminar kit, perhaps?

Lunch passed and the afternoon session started at 2pm.
Oh, where's the P300 seminar kit?
I just remembered the organizers early in the morning doing some cuttings and pasting to the envelopes. Where is it now?

The "seminar" passed and still, no seminar kit in sight.
Since I didn't bring any pen or paper because our EIC told us that it is already included in the P300 fee,I am itching to take down notes.

Hours passed and I wasn't able to take down any notes.

And what about the photo shoot??

Our group was the only group who took shots of human-beings and was criticized for doing so.
I admit, I gave a lame excuse of being "new" in that field that is why we produced a "palpak" photo essay, because it is actually TRUE.

Almost all of the participants are actually from the self-fulfilling prophecy department of this filthy college in the university.

And because their course is somehow related to the topic, of course they received excellent remarks. And when it was our turn, it was like I am in front of my rape victims because of the questions they are asking, no not only questions but "criticisms"-that according to them will help me become a better person (lokohin niyo lelang niyo. x.X)

What I really hate the most is dictating what I should or should not do-simply because I was not raised that way.

My parents never dictated on me- and no one will ever do.

And this is what actually happened this day.

Dictations and everything.
Following without knowing the reason why.
Giving praises for nothing.
Words and just words.


Friday, July 4, 2008

Life in a song.

From American Idol 2008, David Cook's single, TIME OF MY LIFE.

I’ve been waiting for my dreams
To turn into something
I could believe in
And looking for that
Magic rainbow
On the horizon
I couldn’t see it
Until I let go
Gave into love and watched all the bitterness burn
Now I’m coming alive
Body and soul
And feelin’ my world start to turn

I've been in school for almost 13 years. I can vividly remember my teacher's question during Elementary as to how do we see ourselves after ten years. I would often answer that I see myself as a lawyer, a doctor or a broadcaster.

I entered college in 2006 and none of my ambitions actually happened, not even close, not even a bit.

I got frustrated during the rocky first year in college, thinking that I should have been at saint Louis University with my ditse, taking up what I really wanted, AB Communication Arts.

For two years, I've been filled with too many "what if's" in my mind. What if I just studied and reviewed EVERYTHING about high school so that I could have gone to my dream schools University of the Philippines and University of Santo Tomas.

For two years, I've been searching for answers to what I really wanted. I even thought of transferring to Wesleyan University- Philippines and take up Nursing so that I could also give my family a comfortable life later.

But then again, these frustrations actually led to something better. I've learned that not all things in life can be given by money, that not being able to be in a prestigious school does not make me lesser of a person. I've learned that everything has its own reasons.

And I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time
To be more than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life

I entered College of Education not knowing anyone from the higher years or the faculty.

I was filled with fear during the first weeks of the class and was devastated when our PE teacher actually scolded me in front of everyone because we missed his class because of the orientation program. I cried hard the whole day because that was my first time to lead a class, and that was one hell of a traumatic experience for me!

Nevertheless, I managed to get up and gain my classmates' trust back. I was elected to hold positions in the sophomore class and in our department.

That year, I also tried my luck in writing for the college paper. I was surprised when I found out that I passed the exams and I am officially a part of the Editorial Board. But that time, I was so stressed out with the "toxic" life of a sophomore EEd student and I really find it difficult to balance my life as a student and as a part of the publication.

Holding onto things that vanished
Into the air
Left me in pieces
But now I’m rising from the ashes
Finding my wings
And all that I needed
Was there all along
Within my reach
As close as the beat of my heart

So I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time to be
More than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life

Second Semester.
I managed to survive the toxicity of the College of Education and was ready to conquer another grueling semester.

My first time to join an essay writing contest took place during the Education Week celebration.

I fought but I was defeated.

I was the 1st runner-up and another co-writer won.
I suddenly remembered one quotation from Tiger Woods in a Reader's Digest issue that says, and I quote:
"Being the first runner-up just means the first loser."

Well, I guess it worked for me because during the college level Literary Musical contest, I was selected to represent the college for the University contest.

But then again, being the inexperienced and uhmm, quite negative writer that I am about the issue
"The Role of Filipino Migrant Workers as Citizens of the World", I lost.

And again, I remembered Tiger Woods- I am a first loser again. xD

And I’m out on the edge of forever
Ready to run
I’m keeping my feet on the ground
My arms open wide
My face to the sun

I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time to be
More than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life
More than a name
Or a face in the crowd
This is the time
This is the time of my life.
This is the time of my life.

I survived the challenging sophomore year.

Another year started, and I am not a regular student.

I have tons of behind subjects.

I am not the good student.

But I am glad that there are people who made me realized that I am more than what I thought I was, that I could actually do things on my own, take every step and stand on my own feet and to do what I wanted to do and seize everything until there is something worth doing and seizing.

I've learned that people can be so cruel at times, but it does not mean that they hate you, sometimes, cruelty is one way of showing kindness.

I've learned that opportunities and chances to grow and find the person that I want to be is not confided within the four walls of the classroom but it is out there, waiting to be discovered, waiting to be risked and conquered.

I've learned that no matter how tough life can be, no matter how unfair the world is, there is still that one person who can help you get out of all these things-

I’ll taste every moment
And live it out loud
I know this is the time,
This is the time to be
More than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life
More than a name
Or a face in the crowd
This is the time
This is the time of my life.
This is the time of my life.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Si Big Brother, Insomnia at Birthday.

Big Brother.
Nakakawala naman ng gana manood ngayon ng PBB Teen Edition Plus, kasi naman 'yung bets ko maging Big 4 nalagas na. Si Jolas, Rona at Valerie. Tapos si Robi nominated na naman, ang hina naman kasi ng diskarte ng mga lalaki-kung ako sa kanila ibinoto ko 'yung mag-bestfriend para masubukan kung sino ba ang deserving sa kanilang dalawa. Pero wala naman akong magagawa kasi nasa loob sila nasa labas ako, pakielam nila sa'kin diba?

Kung kailan naman isang linggo na lang bago mag-pasukan tsaka ako "nahawa" sa kapatid ko. Ewan ko ba, bakit nga ba hindi nakakasawa mag-internet?
Kailangan ngayon nga maaga na ako nagigising kaso ang nangyayari (third day in a row ngayong araw) eh nakakatutulog ako ng 2:30 am at gigising ng 12:00 pm. Ano ba tawag sa'kin?
Kasi naman 11 pm na hindi pa ako dinadapuan ng antok, kaya ayon, kumbaga pampaantok ko ang internet. Ang laki ng problema ko, paano sa pasukan? Pag walang internet? Anong oras ako gigising? Wooh. Patay.

Malapit na 18th birthday ko.
As usual, gaya ng mga nasaksihan kong debut sa pamilya namin, sa eskwelahan ako magce-celebrate. Walang pasayaw, cotillion, 18 roses, balloons, treasures, candies, hopia, chocolates, mani at popcorn. Wala din 24 times na pagpapalit ng gown, alahas at sapatos. Walang escort, bisita, handaan at bonggang-bonggang party.
Dati tinanong ko ang tatay ko kung bakit sa dinami-dami ng anak niyang babae eh hindi nya naisipan na bigyan kami ng party, sabi nya "kailangan maging praktikal" daw sa buhay. Hindi naman daw pwede na sa isang araw lang unti-unting lilipad yung pera na pinaghihirapan nila ni Mama. Noon, naisip ko "mas mahalaga naman na masaya yung anak nya". Pero ngayon na ako naman yung mage-18, naisip ko tama ang tatay ko, mas maraming mas mahalagang bagay kesa sa bonggang-bonggang debut party. Syempre, masaya siguro kung may party pero naisip ko kahit gaano ka-bongga o ka-simple i-celebrate ang birthday, ang mahalaga naman siguro eh 'yung may maka-alala at mag-abalang mag-text o bumati sa'yo sa espesyal na araw mo; kaya kung ako sa'yo ihanda mo na 'yung regalo ko. :)

June 19. Malapit na, ano kaya mangyayari sa 18th birthday ko, pag-patak ba ng 12am, magta-transform ako?

Friday, May 23, 2008

ang gulo eh.

limang taon.
1825 na araw.
sa bawat umaga
sa bawat pagmulat ng mata
sa bawat sinag ng araw tanging ikaw ang nakikita.

sa bawat pintig ng puso
sa bawat patak ng luha tanging ikaw ang dahilan
sa bawat ngiti
sa bawat saya
sa bawat lungkot
sa bawat paghinga
tanging ikaw ang hinihiling na makasama.

sa bawat minuto
sa bawat oras
sa bawat araw tanging ikaw ang hinihintay
sa bawat kagat ng dilim
sa bawat hapunansa bawat pagpikit ng matatanging ikaw ang iniiisip.
limang taon.
1825 na araw
ikaw pa rin
ikaw lang
ikaw sana

limang taon
1825 na araw

limang taon.
1825 na araw
nasaan ka na?
sabi mo'y babalik ka.
kailan pa?

limang taon.
1825 na araw
..wala ka na pala...