Saturday, April 11, 2015

Wanted: Mom and Dad

I didn't  really consider myself a lucky, fat and normal kid growing up. Well, I was and I am still fat, okay. Studying in a private school where most of my schoolmates are children of a certain doctor or an attorney or a councilor or any professional-sounding individual like engineer, nurse, midwife and so on- while I am a daughter of two government employees. Well, they don't have titles, their names don't start with Arch., Engr., Dr., or Atty. so I must have a reason to feel really inferior to my classmates.

What I didn't realize at that time was that I was beyond privileged and extremely lucky because unlike some of my classmates who turned out to be spoiled brats, constant bullies, and young parents, I was normal- because I have a complete family. I have a mom and a dad, and sometimes, it's all that really matters and that could spell a huge difference in a child's life.

So my mom went on a five-day seminar at Subic this week, and this is the first time in my entire existence that I am bringing myself to admit that I really missed her. It just feels incomplete not having her around in our house for four days. Well, it's not like this is the first time my parents went on a seminar. Our (my siblings and I) entire childhood was almost filled with our memories of us sending dad to the airport or fetching him, of mom going to different places to attend some seminar, of both of them being out of town at the same time, leaving us with our Lola or aunts.

I've found out that during one of the lowest points of your life, when your entire life flashes before your eyes, when your reminisce the better times you had, when all you worry about the chains of your bicycle getting misaligned while driving or what your Lola would buy for merienda, -- you learn to appreciate the little things that seemed trivial at first.

This week, I came up with 10 reasons why I don't want mom to be out again:

1. No delicious breakfast.
2. No wake-up call to get my lazy ass off the bed and do some household chores. Even if most of the time she would wake me up just to ask questions that we both know she knows the answer for.
3. No delicious dinner.
4. No groceries.
5. She's the only person in the house who knows where everything is. Sugar, coffee, flashlight, hammer.....
6. I can tell her things I cannot tell Dad because I am really, really scared.
7. I can annoy her constantly and convince her to buy me stuff I should be paying myself.
8. My dog loves her.
9. She provides a sense of comfort and warmth inside the house.
10. She talks a lot.

Consequently, I also made 10 reasons why I'll miss dad when he's out:

1. The plants will die.
2. My dog really loves him.
3. I can ask for money without being audited.
4. He brings a sense of security and authority in the house.
5. TV bonding.
6. I will miss his questions/requests about computers or internet.
7. He really makes eating fruits and vegetables look a lot of fun.
8. His temper......
9. He doesn't really say much, but his words are very, very on point.
10. His intellectual sense of humor.

So there. If you are a parent and you come across this post through some random act of wizardry or anything like that, I just ought to tell you one thing ( as a teacher, ehem, and as a child), go spend quality time with your child/ren as often as you can. When I say quality, that doesn't mean going to Disneyland or some amusement park, sometimes, a simple break from your busy work to ask how their day went and actually listening to their response, verbal or not, could make a lot of difference in their lives. Children never needed all those fancy gadgets and expensive shoes or dress, they need YOU, and you alone. They need you as their mothers and fathers, not you as the bank manager or the lawyer. They need you to make them feel wanted. They need you to make them feel you miss them or you love them, and that is something IPads, a pair of Jordan breds or new clothes can do. Your children needs constant affirmation and reassurance that it is perfectly okay to have mistakes as long as you learn from it and not dwell on it.

And if by any chance you are a child, a son or a daughter, regardless of how young or how old you are, always be grateful for your parent/s. Show them your gratitude by studying or working hard to make them happy. I hope we all live up to how we were raised by our parents. I hope we make them proud of who and what we have become at this point of our lives, and who and what we will become in the years to come. I hope we all come to realize that they did what they can, gave what they have and lost what they once had, in order for us to have a better life than theirs.