Friday, January 22, 2010

How you make me feel, Mr.

Oftentimes, my problem being in a student publication is that I am too emotional when I write. Once I was asked to write a column for our first issue, I made three major revisions to the column because it was either too emotional, too painful or too harsh until I finally decided to scrap it out and create a new one that will serve its purpose.

You cannot blame me. I really am emotional, worse, I tend to keep my emotions, shut up my mouth and wait until it explodes so I can let go of it one time, big time. But it took its toll on me a few months ago. I was bitten behind my back and the enemy knows my weakness. He played with me until I burst in front of a whole college- it was our Meeting de Avance.

I never knew I was releasing all my angst that time and it was not good. I could have just kept calm, shut up my mouth and presented what I am supposed to present- and yes, the enemy won, and I lost- almost everything, except my self.

It was hard for the first few months after the incident, but then again, words of encouragement from people who really know me came and I promised to redeem myself, I promised to prove the enemy wrong and I promised to continue being the person that I am.

I got up, little by little, I got my confidence back. I started smiling and it felt so good. It felt so good knowing that you do not have emotional burdens and knowing that you are living your life fully without hurting other people.


Now, it's all coming back to you.

I am not surprised by what has happened to you.

You got the power, you got everything that we have worked for a year, you got my reputation and self-esteem crushed, you hit me at my weakest, every shameless thing that you did worked for you, and yet you decided to put it into trash.

You just decided to put into trash the good name that your predecessors have worked in years of servant leadership, courage, unity and respect.

You just have put into trash the dreams and ideals of a thousand students hoping for the change that you promised them.

You just have put into trash a whole year of meaningful activities, projects and student camaraderie that should have been a very productive one.

You just have put into trash my belief in male leaders.

You just have put into trash my interest in politics, my belief that there are still politicians who will do good for this country.

And most of all,

you just have proven that what you said on why you would run for presidency is true:

"Gusto ko lang may maka-laban kayo.."
-Mr. Villanueva

You started it, now let me do the honor of finishing it.

Congratulations on your impeachment.







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