It's been a while since I've updated my blog, school's really eating my time, my emotions and everything else.
Last week seemed to be the longest and agonizing week in school since college.
Emotions bursted, tears fell and feelings were hurt.
A melodramatic twist in the smooth-sailing adventure called college.
Election is really, really tough. At the very last moment, our standard bearer backed-out and malicious leaflets against the Student Council spread like wildfire, avery good political tactic, right?
I overreacted and thought the Meeting de Avance is a chance so I could justify our actions and hopefully make the students aware that every peso that they have paid have gone a good, long way and not like what the other party is claiming.
I was so confident that I forgot that my voice was actually shaking and as a defense, I tried to louden my voice. Then all of a sudden, I felt really, really weak. I want to give up, go down that stage and let everything just pass me by. But looking to the eyes of our dear advisers, I decided to go on and tell the truth to the students, but they seemed to be too deaf to hear and too cynic to believe.
And lo and behold, I lost the elections the next day and it was game-over.
I was hurt but I didn't cry because I lost. Losing is inevitable and I tried to absorb the fact that when a door closes, a window will open and that there is nothing to cry about because what we have done to the college is incomparable and invaluable, maybe it has just to end there.
That afternoon, I was in my usual mood when Ma'am Jen, our prof. in Assessment II asked if I won, I shook my head and she asked why. I honestly don't know Ma'am, I replied. And then, she said her piece. "Alam niyo class, I really admire these students. Kasi kung titingnan niyo yung mga dating SC, talagang nakita ko na may nagawa sila sa college, lalo na sa inyo, nung enrolment nyo, isang linggo silang nakaupo, nagre-resibo kahit pa sabihin niyo na pinapa-meryenda sila eh wala namang sinusweldo mula sa college yang mga 'yan.
Service lang talaga.
At in fairness to them, madami silang nagawag pagbabago. Siguro iisipin niyo hindi ko dapat sinasabi ito kasi faculty ako pero nariinig ko kasi yung mga pangyayari noong Meeting de Avance, hindi talaga naging tama kasi kung naghahanap kayo ng perpektong lider, wala nun eh.
Kung tayo nga hindi perpekto, sila pa kaya?
At oo, may lapses sila, pero hindi maiiwasan 'yun kaya wala tayong karapatan na magsabi ng hindi magagandang salita sa kanila lalo na kung wala kang nagawang maganda at mabuti sa college.
At kung may nakita kang mali, dapat sana ginawan mo ng paraan sa sarili mo para maitama ito at hindi mo lang isisisi sa mga nakaupo lahat ng nangyayari.
Ang problema kasi sa atin, we fail to appreciate the good things, pero kapag hindi na maganda ang mga nangayayari, doon natin nakikita yung mga pagkakamali.
Kaya nga kung wala kang naitulong na maganda sa college at wala kang alam sa mga nangyayari, wag ka na lang magsalita."
Tears fell unconsciously and I was crying really hard for the very touching and comforting words from someone whom I would just casually greet "Good Morning" whenever I see her walking to her office.
And more than any pain that time, I cried because of happiness.
I cried because someone who I never imagined would say those very words actually did, and it just means so much to me, more than losing.
We filed a protest that day, and exchange of words between the electoral board chairman which happens to be my senior in Educator went really far. Our dean called both parties today to settle issues and what seems to be a clash between the two parties ended with tears, forgiveness and love.
Going through all these is not easy.
Friendships were tainted.
Relationships were broken.
Emotions flared.
Through it all, I have known myself better, I have loved myself a little bit more, I have known who my real friends are and I have known how to forgive and say sorry to the people that I have hurt. It is about time to rebuild the broken friendships, to mend broken relationships and forget the emotions for the benefit of a thousand more.
And just like what my advisers have told me, "Siguro hindi lang sa SC makakapag-lingkod. Malay niyo, maging mayor kayo. At alam naman natin yung totoo diba. Naging magandang training din ang SC sa inyo, sana madami kayong natutunan sa mga nangyari, basta lagi nitong tatandaan mga anak, nandito lang kami para suportahan kayo sa lahat. "
Iisipin ko na lang maganda ako. :)
Last week seemed to be the longest and agonizing week in school since college.
Emotions bursted, tears fell and feelings were hurt.
A melodramatic twist in the smooth-sailing adventure called college.
Election is really, really tough. At the very last moment, our standard bearer backed-out and malicious leaflets against the Student Council spread like wildfire, avery good political tactic, right?
I overreacted and thought the Meeting de Avance is a chance so I could justify our actions and hopefully make the students aware that every peso that they have paid have gone a good, long way and not like what the other party is claiming.
I was so confident that I forgot that my voice was actually shaking and as a defense, I tried to louden my voice. Then all of a sudden, I felt really, really weak. I want to give up, go down that stage and let everything just pass me by. But looking to the eyes of our dear advisers, I decided to go on and tell the truth to the students, but they seemed to be too deaf to hear and too cynic to believe.
And lo and behold, I lost the elections the next day and it was game-over.
I was hurt but I didn't cry because I lost. Losing is inevitable and I tried to absorb the fact that when a door closes, a window will open and that there is nothing to cry about because what we have done to the college is incomparable and invaluable, maybe it has just to end there.
That afternoon, I was in my usual mood when Ma'am Jen, our prof. in Assessment II asked if I won, I shook my head and she asked why. I honestly don't know Ma'am, I replied. And then, she said her piece. "Alam niyo class, I really admire these students. Kasi kung titingnan niyo yung mga dating SC, talagang nakita ko na may nagawa sila sa college, lalo na sa inyo, nung enrolment nyo, isang linggo silang nakaupo, nagre-resibo kahit pa sabihin niyo na pinapa-meryenda sila eh wala namang sinusweldo mula sa college yang mga 'yan.
Service lang talaga.
At in fairness to them, madami silang nagawag pagbabago. Siguro iisipin niyo hindi ko dapat sinasabi ito kasi faculty ako pero nariinig ko kasi yung mga pangyayari noong Meeting de Avance, hindi talaga naging tama kasi kung naghahanap kayo ng perpektong lider, wala nun eh.
Kung tayo nga hindi perpekto, sila pa kaya?
At oo, may lapses sila, pero hindi maiiwasan 'yun kaya wala tayong karapatan na magsabi ng hindi magagandang salita sa kanila lalo na kung wala kang nagawang maganda at mabuti sa college.
At kung may nakita kang mali, dapat sana ginawan mo ng paraan sa sarili mo para maitama ito at hindi mo lang isisisi sa mga nakaupo lahat ng nangyayari.
Ang problema kasi sa atin, we fail to appreciate the good things, pero kapag hindi na maganda ang mga nangayayari, doon natin nakikita yung mga pagkakamali.
Kaya nga kung wala kang naitulong na maganda sa college at wala kang alam sa mga nangyayari, wag ka na lang magsalita."
Tears fell unconsciously and I was crying really hard for the very touching and comforting words from someone whom I would just casually greet "Good Morning" whenever I see her walking to her office.
And more than any pain that time, I cried because of happiness.
I cried because someone who I never imagined would say those very words actually did, and it just means so much to me, more than losing.
We filed a protest that day, and exchange of words between the electoral board chairman which happens to be my senior in Educator went really far. Our dean called both parties today to settle issues and what seems to be a clash between the two parties ended with tears, forgiveness and love.
Going through all these is not easy.
Friendships were tainted.
Relationships were broken.
Emotions flared.
Through it all, I have known myself better, I have loved myself a little bit more, I have known who my real friends are and I have known how to forgive and say sorry to the people that I have hurt. It is about time to rebuild the broken friendships, to mend broken relationships and forget the emotions for the benefit of a thousand more.
And just like what my advisers have told me, "Siguro hindi lang sa SC makakapag-lingkod. Malay niyo, maging mayor kayo. At alam naman natin yung totoo diba. Naging magandang training din ang SC sa inyo, sana madami kayong natutunan sa mga nangyari, basta lagi nitong tatandaan mga anak, nandito lang kami para suportahan kayo sa lahat. "
Iisipin ko na lang maganda ako. :)
lapit na grumaduate. congrats! :)
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